i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
