are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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