worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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