I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
