I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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