Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize