you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
