i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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