made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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