Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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