he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
