We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
