I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
