Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
