i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
