i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
honey bunches of taint.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
