yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
