He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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