It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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