dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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