I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
