dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
