I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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