You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
