dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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