That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
