and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
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Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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