Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I AM VODKA MAN
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
