Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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