Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
