Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
