i jhust puked up my retainher.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
