do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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