Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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