Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
