I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
