Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
