doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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