the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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