As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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