I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Who died my cat blue again?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
