Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
