Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
