I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize