I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we're making bets on your personal life
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
