As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
wow bdsm is so cute
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
