I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
