that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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