Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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