im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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