he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
