I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize