i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I want her autograph on my taint
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
