Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize