Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude i'm inner monologue high
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
