worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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