dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
