How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize