This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
