Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i've created a new STD.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
