I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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