I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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